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Spring 2019 Park WalkIt’s not that I don’t love the warmer weather and the sunny days….I just hate the melting process!  It’s such a mess with two little white/cream coloured dogs, who are low to the ground so it’s not just their paws getting mucky but their whole under carriage.

Daisy tries her best to avoid the wet and the puddles and the muck…she hates the melt too! But Wheatie is a totally different bean…I think he aims for the puddles and the muck!! Getting wet and dirty and covered in sand doesn’t phase him at all. If we get to a particularly mucky area Daisy stops and looks at me, this is her way of telling me that she wants to be picked up, and as I’m picking her up I turn and there’s Wheaton standing in the middle of the puddle!! So after almost every walk we have to head straight to the tub for an under belly wash.

Morning walks aren’t too bad yet cause it’s still hovering around the freezing point so it’s easier to keep them clean….but afternoon and bedtime walks are an absolute mess.
This is why I hate Spring!!!

On a positive note….we put our application in for our seasonal camping out at Hecla and we got accepted and drew second in the site pick order!! So great news…. We got our favourite site again for the third year in a row!! I’m so pumped!!! Definitely looking forward to camping season to start in May.

A couple weekends ago I rented the Minaki Yurt again like we did last year, except this year I was super sick with what I thought was just a really horrible cold. It was too late to cancel the yurt trip though and I would have lost my deposit (which was a substantial amount). I figured it was worth going, my cold would ease up and I would feel better by the second day of our four day yurt stay. I needed a break and it’s so pretty out there in the wilderness. I was looking forward to snowy hikes and a big cup of tea by the fire and all that good stuff. But, no. My sick got worse, I spent the whole time in bed or curled up in a blanket on the bean bag chair. We tried to go for a hike one morning and I barely made it 100 yards before I was hit by a coughing fit that I thought would bring up my lung!! It was shitty and I left a day early (the folks there were super nice and didn’t charge me for the extra day).

Ihaler 1I got home and went to the doctor and found out I had a bronchial infection and pneumonia. Ahhhhh, that explains why my sick wasn’t going away and why it felt like it was getting worse! I spent the next week home from work laying on the couch. The dogs loved it!! I felt bad for them though cause I couldn’t walk them very far…we’d walk down the street about 3 or 4 houses and back, just enough for business to be done and then I would be wiped out and go back to the couch for a nap. Amazing how you need oxygen so much, we really take this breathing thing for granted!! Everything exhausted me.  But finally the antibiotics took care of the infection and with two different inhalers, my lungs finally cleared enough that I could breathe without having a coughing fit. It took 3 weeks to feel human again and the dogs were happy to be back to walking on a regular basis.

So, 3 weeks having and recovering from pneumonia and what do I do last night??? Go for a run. It was a light run/brisk walk since it’s the first real physical movement in like over a year! I don’t know if being so sick just pissed me off or frustrated me to my breaking point but I do know that I have been lying around like a sloth for over a year and it is time to move again. I’ve been working so much on being gentle with my self and healing and working through grief that my physical health has been completely ignored. I’ve eaten my feelings and eaten for comfort and we all know the food you eat in this phase is NEVER the good stuff!  Of course that meant weight gain, but truth be told I didn’t give a shit. My mental health and my emotional well being were more important and I just didn’t have the energy to eat healthy & exercise. Everyone handles grief differently, some folks will exercise through it, that’s their healing process. I am NOT that person. I’m more of a “cocoon myself on the couch and eat a family size bag of chips for supper” kind of person or a “fast food 5 times a week” kind of person. To each their own right. The point is, I feel like those 3 weeks of having no choice but to lie on my couch wrapped in the duvet made me realize that I have a choice now, I feel that I am stronger and ready to move forward ….time to up my game.

Maybe it’s Spring and sunshine (and even the muck), but I feel the shift to want to take better care of my Self. I feel like I matter just a little bit more and I have the capacity to take on the physical healing now.

Wishing you all a Happy Spring.

In love & in kindness,

Jenn, Daisy & Wheaton